Assertive Money Talk Builds Respect And Wealth

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📝 usncan Note: Assertive Money Talk Builds Respect And Wealth

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According to a 2025 CFP Board report, 69% of women are their households’ primary investment decision-makers. Yet Curia Capital finds only about 25% of affluent women feel comfortable managing investments compared to 40% of men. This gap in financial confidence and assertiveness is costly.

Assertive money talk matters not just for investments, spending and earnings but also for self-confidence and respect in relationships at home and work.

I know this firsthand. I wasn’t always financially assertive and I paid the price of people-pleasing, being too nice and allowing others to take advantage of me. That led to low self-worth, depression and anxiety, financial problems and relationship conflict. I decided things had to change. I found my voice and learned how to talk about money and avoid the cost of silence. I advocated for myself financially and treated myself with the same care I’d give someone I love.

My most pivotal moment of financial assertiveness came during the sale of my mental health company, Urban Balance. Two weeks before close, the buyer threw in a new contingency. I told my broker, “Tell them no.” He replied with disbelief, “You would walk away from a 7-figure deal over this?!” “Yes,” I said. We closed under my terms.

Financial assertiveness takes practice. With practice comes confidence. With confidence comes respect. Respect ensures money boundaries remain intact. That builds wealth.

The Struggle Is Real Even for High-Powered Women

To understand the challenges and solutions around financial assertiveness for women, I spoke with several high-powered women from The Dames, a business community for 6, 7 and 8-figure women entrepreneurs. Their insights reveal why assertive financial communication is hard and the powerful strategies we can all use to do it better.

M. Shannon Hernandez, Founder and CEO of Joyful Business Revolution™, says women are socialized to soften their money language. “We apologize for our rates, over-explain when raising prices or accept terms we never agreed to,” she says. “That conditioning seeps into everything from salary negotiations to client contracts and results in lost revenue and misaligned partnerships.”

Megan Munsell, CPA and founder of Abundantia Advisory, puts it plainly: “When women talk about money, we’re not just talking about numbers—we’re talking about power. That power gets chipped away when we apologize for negotiating, avoid following up on late invoices or quietly cover more than our share of household expenses.”

Renèe Hughes, Profit Psychology Coach and Co-founder of Seven Figure Profits™, adds: “The internal conflict is real. Many fear that setting financial boundaries makes them seem selfish or cold. In business, this shows up as underpricing or over-delivering. At home, it shows up as guilt—whether about earning more than a partner or saying no to family requests.”

Clare J. Hefferren, Strategic Architect at WonderPact, addresses intergenerational patterns. “The challenge is reclaiming inner authority after generations of being taught to stay agreeable or invisible around money.”

Strategies For Assertive Financial Communication

When communicating assertively about money:

Stand or sit tall with good posture
Avoid fidgeting
Maintain eye contact
Speak with a calm, firm tone—avoid raising your voice or showing frustration
Accept discomfort and breathe through it
Allow silence and resist filling the space

Hernandez recommends her “Clarity + Context” framework: “First, state your boundary with no qualifiers. Second, add a short factual reason that highlights value—not your worth as a person. Third, stop talking. Silence communicates confidence and gives the other party space to respond.”

Munsell says: “Communicate money like you mean it. Drop hedging words like just or maybe. Lead with facts, not feelings. If pushback comes, reframe around shared goals. And if you’re caught off guard, buy time with, ‘I’ll review these numbers and get back to you tomorrow.’”

Hughes says, “Assertiveness isn’t coldness—it’s compassion and confidence coexisting.”

Hefferren emphasizes grounding values before numbers: “Lead with shared values, name your desires and use your emotional authority. Money decisions made in the heat of the moment rarely serve. Give yourself time to respond, not react.”

Real World Examples

This week, I saved $1,300 with assertive money talk in two scenarios.

With HVAC repairman:

“I am going to need a bigger discount.”
“We’ve spent a fortune with your company.”
“That price is going to have to come down.”
“What is that fee there? Please remove that.”
Savings: $800

With furniture salesman:

“Is that the best you can offer?”
“Can you remove the delivery fee?”
“Since this is a large purchase, can you throw in the mirror for free?”
Savings: $500

Our experts share examples too. Hernandez recalls a client asking for a discount. She responded: “I don’t discount my work because the scope and outcomes are already aligned to your goals. If budget is the barrier, I can adjust scope but not price.” The client signed at full rate.

Munsell told a prospect: “You’re not just hiring a service. You’re getting boutique-level attention. That level of access comes with an increased investment.” The client agreed.

Hughes demonstrates clarity with phrases like: “I’ve decided we should not take on this expense,” instead of vague or avoidant language.

Hefferren told advisors: “I’m not just investing dollars. I’m voting with my values. My money must reflect the world I want to live in.”

Moving Forward And Upward

Assertive financial communication doesn’t mean being loud, dominant or unyielding. It means standing firmly in your truth while respecting others. It means replacing vague language with clarity, shame with confidence and fear with collaboration.

As Hernandez says: “Assertiveness, when authentic, builds trust, respect and longevity. Those are priceless currencies—at home, at work and in business.”